Category: XXX Adult Jokes

Joking&Jesting: Men And Cars

shopping-girl-3-cartoon-vector0

After a day of shopping, three women relaxed over a free flowing bottles of vino. 🙂

They talked.  They chatted.  They prattled. They jabbered.  They gossiped.

Joking&Jesting: Men And Cars

With much giggling and more wine, the conversation turned to sex as it usually does.

The first woman purred “my husband is like a Jaguar, he is fast and powerful.”

Not to be outdone, the second woman said, “my husband is like a Rolls Royce, smooth and refined.”

1911Hartford_autoJack_coverThe third woman, blurted and confided rather painfully, “my husband is like a 1911 Ford, it needed a hand to crank it up.”

Have a lovely weekend.  SMILE!

Dad’s Rule

Dad’s Rule

To potential boyfriends, be warned. Some fathers live by these rules: 😉

But nothing to worry about, just treat a girl with respect and everything is hanky dory.

dad's rule

 

 

Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar stradivarius to a gorilla.

– Jim Bishop

BBC News Caption Chinese New Year Lost in Translation!

Saturday 1 Feb 2014BBCnygaff
As millions of people around the world celebrate the Chinese New Year, something appears to have been lost in translation at the BBC.Instead of welcoming in the year of the horse, a subtitle error saw the BBC usher in the ‘year of the whores’. Was this an unusual error for the renowned BBC World Service or a corporate Freudian slip;)
Maybe a not-too-subtle comment about the parts of the omnivorous financial sector/banking industry.
Could be an interesting year 🙂
One eagle-eyed viewer took a screen grab of yesterday’s gaffe before it was picked up on social media.‘So it’s Chinese New Year, but the BBC subtitles got a bit confused about the year,’ said one.

Another added: ‘Happy Chinese New Year, according to BBC Subtitles it should be an interesting one!’

The year of the horse is generally considered an auspicious time, and business-savvy residents of Hong Kong are hoping for vigorous growth.

The Inheritance

beercartoonThis is karma at work!

Here is a joke with a pub setting.

 

Two fellows met in the pub and one said, “what’s the matter with you?”

“My aunt’s just died,” said his friend.

“But I thought you didn’t like her,” said the first fellow.

“I didn’t, but it was through me that she spent the last five years of her life in a mental institution.  She’s left all her money to me and now I’ve got to prove she was of sound mind.”

 

😉

The Burglar and the Spinster

An emergency call was make in the local police station.

“Come quickly!” gasped the voice.  “A burglar is trapped in the bedroom of an old spinster.”

“We’ll be right there,” said the desk sergeant.  “May I ask who’s talking?”

“It’s me, the burglar, help!”

 

-Yellow-Emoticon-Rolling-On-The-Floor-And-Laughing

The Piggy Bank

piggybankBob suggested to his wife that a good way to save money would be to put £1 in the piggy bank every time they made love. A year went by and Bob decided to empty the piggy bank and see how much had been saved.

He couldn’t believe his eyes when he found not only £1 coins but lots of £5, £10 and £20 notes as well.

“How come we’ve got all these notes?” he asked amazed.

“Well, not everyone’s as stingy as you,” she retorted.

hahaha hahaha hahaha